Carrying my worries

I’ve been feeling tense and anxious lately. Sometimes, this gives me lots of nervous energy and so I find it easy to do things. Other days, it leaves me lethargic and easily distracted.

Today, has been one of the latter days.

I also tend to carry stress and worry in my shoulders. My left side has gotten so tense, my fingertips, elbow, and bicep are tingly.

I used to get frustrated when I’d feel this way. Honestly, I still do but to a lesser degree. I used to want to figure out what was causing it so I could fix it, get it over with, and move on with my life.

Nowadays, I’m more understanding of the fact that there isn’t always a clear reason I’m feeling a certain way- good or bad. Sometimes, I just feel what the heck I’m feeling.

I’ve also come to a better understanding that there’s no fixing emotions and even if I fix something causing an emotion, that doesn’t spare me from ever feeling that way again. Maybe that sounds obvious but I really feel there is this deep-rooted idea in me that says the reason I feel anxiety, sadness, anger, or frustration is because something is wrong- mostly with me. And so if I can just figure things out and fix myself once and for all, I can move on to happy feelings for the rest of my life.

Deep-rooted and also silly. I could write more on this but honestly my shoulder is causing me a lot of pain as I type so I’m going to wrap this up with a question for you: How have you been feeling lately?

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